Phenomenons

GRAPES
Who decided that it's ok to sell grapes in open bags at the grocery store?  Seriously, what else would you buy that is already opened... and wide open at that?  You wouldn't buy a bag of chips that were opened.  I just don't get it.

TIPS
Who decided who we would tip in this world and who we would not?  Waiters/ Waitresses, pedicurists, valet parkers, luggage carriers, etc.  Why do we tip these people and not others?  I used to work in an orthodontic office as an assistant to the doctor.  Nobody ever gave me a tip when I did an awesome job scraping the plaque off of their kids teeth and being extra nice about being thrown up on while taking impressions. Don't you think that would deserve a little something extra?  How come restaurants feel justified in not paying their employees, but leaving it up to the customers to support those who work there?  Can you imagine the doctor I worked for not paying his employees, but making us all earn our living from those who brought their kids in for braces?  No way! Wouldn't happen.

When Joe and I were in Chicago, we got pedicures.  Before our pedicure was even over, the Vietnamese woman told us that she preferred her tip be in cash rather than on a credit card because some of the payment goes towards paying for the use of the credit card machine if paid that way.  I was so chapped about her telling me exactly how she wanted her tip that we didn't leave one at all.  She didn't do a very good job either and I didn't like that she just expected us to pay her extra for a crappy job.

TREATS

Most people love sweets... women, perhaps, most especially!  Sometimes when a woman gets a craving for something homemade, she'll spend an hour preparing it, 2 minutes enjoying it, and then thirty minutes wrapping it all up and giving it away to the neighbors.  What?  I understand sharing, yes, but give all your hard work away just so you won't eat the calories?  I think if you're going to commit to a batch of cookies, then you need to commit!  On occasion, many women will show up to an event in which treats are provided them (hence, the hour and half process to prepare one cookie for themselves is extracted) and suddenly, it's as though treats mean nothing to them.  Women walk past gobs of delicious treats when in a social situation pretending that they are stronger than the cookie... guaranteed to get in their car on the way home and think about nothing else than the cookie they did not eat the entire way.  Take advantage of free deliciousness women!

THE BATHROOM KNOCKER

Ever been in a public bathroom with just one toilet?  You know, the one roomed kind.  I was in one just a few weeks ago, when someone rattled the knob (luckily I had locked the door), followed by a knock.  What are you supposed to say when somebody knocks on a public restroom door?  "Uh, yes, your first assumption that this bathroom was occupied when you rattled the locked handle was accurate."  or "It's me!" or "Uhhhh, yeah.  I'll be approximately 45 more seconds.  I hope you can wait that long." It's an awkward situation every time because I feel that a knock deserves some kind of response.  I just don't know what that should be.

Sometimes as I'm going about life, I have "Jerry Seinfield" moments where something happens or I observe something and it immediately makes me want to submit a script for the Jerry Seinfield show, such as the bathroom knocker. I usually share my "scripts" with Joe and he nicely says he thinks I could be a stand up comedian. No way, but I hoped you enjoyed a sampling of them on the blog here today. :)